Tuesday, May 12, 2009

scrumbled

That's a Jacksonism. It means, well it means just like how it sounds. Kind of foggy-headed or a little jumbled, mixed-up, kind of messy. That's how we are lately, my son and I. Kind of scrumbled.

He's right in the middle of the next step toward independence. I know that. He either wants to argue with me over every little thing, or he wants to be held and loved on like a baby. Moving away, moving back.

Rationally, I know this. I know what's going on. But my heart is heavy and my brain is tired. Everything is a battle. Actually, battle is too harsh. Everything is a negotiation, with tensions rising between the participants.

He has always been a reasonable child. From very early on, I have been able to reason with him, explain to him why something has to be the way it is. Well, now the tables are turning. He's realizing that "the way it is" isn't necessarily so. There is room for negotiation, even if I don't agree.

So, for now, we argue, we hug, we cry, we laugh, we look at each other with identical expressions of steely determination, blue eyes vs. brown. We move away from each other. We move back.

We're just a little scrumbled right now. My son and I.

7 comments:

  1. Oh, I love this. You manage to describe in such a touching way such a tough transitory stage. We're going through the exact same thing with a couple of our kids.

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  2. I am feeling the exact same way with our Gwynny. In fact I wanted to blog about it but haven't. You have such a great way of putting into words exactly what you are thinking. I feel your pain and your love cause I'm going through it too. It's got to get better. Right? Hugs!

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  3. Eli and I are scrumbled too. Big time. It doesn't help that he is EXACTLY like I was as a kid. You give me hope that it's just a phase, and that we're not doomed to fight for the next 15 years!

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  4. How bittersweet: he's growing up and you're (we're all) gonna have to grow too.

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  5. What a wonderful word! I have gone through that off and on with my kids.

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  6. Love that word and this post.

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  7. Oh, this is great. I can definitely relate.

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