31 for 21 + Flashback Friday today
So, I'd be willing to bet that until you knew someone with Ds, you had no idea October was Down syndrome Awareness Month. And that is almost true for me, too. But...
The September before Kira was born I rec'd the Oct issue of a parenting magazine (Parents? Parenting? I can't remember.) Anyway, I was flipping through the issue and came to an article about 4 families and their children with Ds. I almost flipped right past it. But for some reason, I just stopped and thought, "No. I need to read this." And I did. I don't remember my reaction to the article, but I clearly remember stopping and making myself read it.
2 weeks before Kira was born, I was at my last ob/gyn visit. In the waiting room, I sat directly across from a teenager with Down syndrome and her mother. And I was struck by how self possessed she was. How "normal" she seemed. How sure of herself. They were called back before me and I went back about five minutes later. Every single nurse and tech in the office were gathered around her talking and smiling. All of them. People who you're lucky to get two minutes with were giving her as much time as she would grant them. I mentioned it to my ob/gyn and she smiled and talked about how great she was.
My whole pregnancy was filled with little signs, I think. 4 at home tests failed before finally getting a positive. Kira's heartbeat didn't show up at all on the first sonogram and we prepared ourselves for not being pregnant. Most of all, I felt uneasy during my whole pregnancy. Like something was off. Honestly? I thought I might die in childbirth. I finally got life insurance on myself. I showed Derek everything he needed to run this house, pay the bills, make the dr's appts. I got ready, just in case.
At the same time, whenever anyone would ask me about Kira, I would always say, "I can't wait for her to get here! I want to meet her. I think she's really going to give me a run for my money!" Yep, I was right.
So, when she showed up sporting designer genes, it was a shock. a surprise. terrifying. BUT, not completely unexpected.
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It's so amazing how we "know" so much and would learn if we would only listen. Very beautifully-written. I love "designer genes"!
ReplyDeleteWendy,
ReplyDeleteI've written about premonitions I've had before too. I know exactly what you mean about this. I didn't have any feeling about Jude having T21, but Steve says that he knew it somehow, and my mom knew it too on the morning of the delivery. Before we called, she said she just had a flash about it, sort of. And she knew it was Jude. Weird, huh?
Premonitions are helpful in helping us get our feet set for things sometimes, emotionally preparing for what is to come.
I know that all of us have been in similar situations as you were prior to Kira being born. I didn't have any premonitions about whether or not Liliana would have Ds but when I look back at different experiences in my life such as working with several Ds adults in an Assisted Living situation I can see why I was there for almost 9 years. God was definitely preparing me for what was to come. I still was very scared and nervous in the beginning but now I know that God has prepared me and I am ready to take on anything that comes my way just as I know you have done and will do for Kira.
ReplyDeleteInteresting about thinking you might die. Maybe an old part of you did and you have been reborn :-)
ReplyDeleteloved this post! I had a few signs too.
ReplyDelete